going down to blacktown again...

today was once of those days when everything is just getting darker and darker. i spent 10 hours wandering around town today and didn't speak to a soul . i couldn't get spoken to if i began screaming. i'm still looking for a job, but i realised today that no one will hire a depressed 17 year old male, who is 6'3," has an unpronouncable name, letters in biblespeak around his neck, and has never worked a day in his life. everything is just so screwed. i should really just give up now. i have no active role to play in society, nobody would miss me. what people i spoke to in year 12 i haven't spoken to since then. i don't know any of their phone numbers of addresses, and none of them even had the idea of sending me a christmas card. fuck this...