101 Ways to be a Better Asshole no. 1-20

Argue with everybody.
Touch the paintings at the museum.
Get hysterical.
Threaten law suits.
Insinuate, implicate and insist.
If you got it, flaunt it.
Eat produce at the grocery store and don't pay for it.
Gamble with the rent money.
Record over a borrowed vcr tape
Tell people that they are in your will, even if they aren't.
Don't get caught.
Stay directly in front or behine fire trucks and ambulances.
When giving out directions, leave out a turn or two.
Don't make up your mind.
Improve your posture by walking with your nose in the air.
Remind people who lose their job that they should work harder.
Talk with your mouth full.
Accuse, confuse and refuse.
Comment on the weight gain of others.
Adjust your nuts (boob) whenever you want.