LiveWire Teen Forums LiveWire Teen Forums Temple of the Screaming Electron Website Get Plugged in at ACDC.com

Monday, June 05, 2006

How many hobart school students does it take to change a lightbulb?

I stole this off someone elses page

So, just how many Hobart school students does it take to change a light bulb?
Fahan - One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Hobart College - Two. One to change the bulb and one to figure out how to get high off the old one.
St. Virgils - Twenty. One to install the new bulb completely powered by testosterone, five to brag about it loudly and fourteen to writean anti-Hutchins songbook in celebration.
St. Marys - Four. One to smash the glass ceiling so that they can get to the top of the ladder, one to install the globe and two to check that it's brighter than St Virgils'.
Taroona High - None. They're all too drunk to notice.
Mount Carmel - One. She'll put through a call to maintenance staff because there's no way she's going to do manual labour.
New Norfolk High - None. That hole looks better in the dark.
Claremont College - Five. One to change the globe and four to discuss its benefits to future vocational training.
New Town High - Six. One to change it but only after the other five have found an interpreter to translate the English instructions.
Uni of Tas - Seventy six. One to change the globe. Fifty to protest the globe's right not to change and twenty five to stage a counterprotest.
The Conservatorium - Forty Three. One to change the globe and a 42 piece orchestra to accompany him.
Friends - Two. One to change the bulb and one to crack under the pressure.
Hutchins - None. Those poor bastards are keeping their backs to the wall even if it means standing in the dark. "If you can't get a woman get a Hutchins man".
Rose Bay High - Five. One to change it, and four to go to Chickenfeed for new chigger attire to wear for the occasion.
Collegiate - Five. One to change it, two to make sure her hair ribbons are still in place and another two to make sure her bag wascarried in the correct manner at all times.
Rokeby High - Six. Four to break into the store, one to steal the globe and one to install it.
Sacred Heart - None. It is too unsafe for pregnant girls to attempt such a dangerous task.
Geilston Bay High - Five. One to install it, and four to tally the number of times he says F*** while he's doing it.
Dominic - Five. One to change the bulb and four to complain that a school of their stature was ever built in Glenorchy.
Bridgewater High - None. Everything not welded down had been flogged long ago.
Cosgrove High - Fourteen. One to change it, one to throw the old one at the New Town High boys and six Italians and six Asians to kick the crap out of each other in the meantime.
Ogilvie - Two. One to change the bulb and one to write to the Mercury about how they did it as well as any "proper" private school.
Rosetta High - None. They didn't want to spoil its 'quickie in the dark' atmosphere.
Rosny College - Six. One to change the bulb and five to support its sexual orientation.
Elizabeth College - None. They're all down at Burger King having a ciggie.
Mary McKillop - Twenty. One to change it and the rest to carry on about how it was, like, soooo fully better than at their old schools.
Woodbridge District High - Unsure. Their response was something like 'Duuh, what's a light globe?'
Guildford Young - Three. One to put in a formal complaint about the imposition, one to change the bulb and one to make the observation that it isn't half as bright as the light shining from their arses.
Kingston High - None. Everyone is either suspended or wagging (including the teachers).
Calvin Christian School - Two. One human and God just to make sure the light shelters all in need, whether it be for food, shelter...
Clarence High - Thirty One. One to change the bulb and thirty to paint interpretive murals about it all over Bellerive.
Sorell District High - Nobody bothered to ask because nobody cares about Sorell.
Oatlands District High - 3. One to get the bulb out, One to smash it, and one to get out the drugs that were stashed in it.