http://www.unitednuclear.com/smoke.htm

By far, the most common smoke formula is the Potassium Nitrate/Sugar formula.It produces a white-gray smoke and is both easy, inexpensive & fun to make.The percentage of Potassium Nitrate and Sugar in this composition vary somewhat dependingon who you ask, but the 60/40 mix listed below is pretty common...

This stuff sounds perfect for plugging up the back of my guitar with. i'd just need to remove the tremolo springs and associated metalwork, stick the smoke gum in, seal the back up, create a path for it to travle out of the guitar then just figure out a way to light the bloody thing without breaking the seal


http://www.unitednuclear.com/supplies.htm

this is definitly not the way to go looking for a girl "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the woman you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Volpe?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads."