much happier today. warm day, lots of skin on display.

in my head

shadows

don't mind me
i'm just a ghost
you don't notice things
you cannot see

i'm invisible to all
except for a very few
like other dead people
i see you too
forget this
what am i talking about
you can't even hear me
can't hear me scream

i think you need help
get whatever you need
go running around
just don't come running to me

i'm invisible
you can't see me
even if i needed help
you wouldn't be there

you wouldn't be there
not for a ghost
not for a shadow
not for me

it's not your fault
that you're ignorant
pig headed bitch
like a sow on heat

the world is spinning round & round
i think it's time to end
round & round & round we go
i think the time is now

i finally discovered yesterday why my social skills are so fucked up. it's because my fucking mother thought the psychologist and councillor i was offered when i was 5 was not necessary. my teachers all suggested to her that i should see a psychologist or councillor to fix my anti-social behaviour, but she just ignored the forms and calls, now i'm more screwed than i would have been if the problem was fixed.

thanx, mother!

tuesday: shitday. had 1 hr assembly. listened to nevermind all through. feel like complete shit today, timing's all off, coffee effect starting to fade. had psychology this morning: fell asleep. got catering this afternoon, probably doing theory, boring. no interesting people in catering. teacher has favourites, she's a piece of shit as well.

somedays are just so not worth being around for. the only reason i come to school is because i am forced to so mother can get my bloody ausstudy allowance, that $700 a week that would otherwise be getting me thoough schooling.

I FUCKING HATE HAPPY PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you know what i discovered today, that all my social problems could have been fixed in kindergarden through a simple series of operant conditioning exercised. but because my parents are so fucking paranoid about what counsellors and 'psychology' may do to me, they left it and now i'm all the worse for it.

it's a week since my last post, and i've finally won a competition! yeah! i won a double pass to see 'last days', about the final 48 hrs of kurt cobain. love nirvana, don't know who to take. thanx JJJ. rocked out saturday night to AC/DC, live at heymarket. they played jailbreak, the jack, can i sit next to you girl, high voltage, rocker, and (sings) it's a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll!

bought myself aerosmith's toys in the attic this afternoon, absolute fucking classic, brilliant, almost as good as highway to hell. walk this way, i shudder with excitement everytime i hear that riff.